30 Days of Truths: Day 11→ Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Warning: This post is awful. But that’s where I’m at today, so yay for blogging!

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Easy Truth here. It’s my super sunny and bubbly personality. And when I say that, what I really mean is my acerbic wit.

In all seriousness, I’ve gotten some totally random compliments in my life, such as:

• You have great eyebrows (Twice, which I find hilarious since mine are nothing special at all.)
• Your skin is so smooth
• “Crazy” eye color (On a day when they looked particularly orange – debating on whether or not this is even a compliment.)
• You have child-bearing hips (From a HS boyfriend, so I’m guessing it’s a compliment?)
• Great bed head (Referring to my hair, people! Get your minds out of the gutter.)
• Nice eyelashes

The compliment I’ve received the most — from both men and women — is that I have a nice ass. Not sure how I feel about this. Yeah, it’s great to know. Especially since for most of my life I absolutely despised it.

But damn it, there is more to me than my ass! It’s not that I want to be the girl with the great personality, because we all know what that means. And, to be honest, my personality isn’t all that great until you get to know me. Even then I’m sometimes questionable, especially if you don’t get my East Coast humor.

My point here is that though the compliments on my physical attributes are welcome and appreciated, those aren’t how I’d prefer to define myself. It’s taken me most of my life to finally [almost] love and accept my body, and at this point I’m working on the inside, which is still a big old mess.

It’s a reflection of society that when people choose to compliment others, it’s often on appearance. Yes, it’s the first thing you’re presented with upon seeing or meeting someone, but it’s such a small aspect of what makes people who they are. There are exceptions, but those are typically reserved for extraordinary people who are known for something other than their appearance. Okay, I can feel myself on the verge of a huge ranting digression about the importance society places on appearance and what is considered “beautiful” and all of that, so I’m going to abruptly stop here and throw you something almost completely off-topic instead.

My new closing line:

Keep your tan lines sharp and your wit sharper.^© 2015 by TJ

Read the full list of truths here.

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30 Days of Truths: Day 10 → Someone you need to let go or wish you didn’t know.

I’ve been sitting on this Truth for a while, waiting for some of the turmoil it triggered to settle. One person came to mind when I first read the statement, and I thought, “I wish I’d never met ______!” But that’s not true. There’s one thing I’ve recently realized about myself: I’m an extremely reactive person. Something someone says or does will trigger an emotional response, and instead of sitting with and processing my feelings, I react. Oftentimes it’s not warranted and not pretty, and I mostly get negative results. And then I find myself backpedaling and apologizing once I digest and realize I may have overreacted. Like Mark Manson says, don’t let your emotions define you. So, I am very glad I let this Truth process, because you’re going to get a very different response today than you would have gotten a couple of weeks ago.

Letting someone go and wishing you didn’t know someone are two very different things. Do I choose to address the first part of the statement or the second? Is there even an option here? The person in question I am slowly letting go, and I do think it’s necessary for me to be happy. It’s taken ample time, reflection, and consideration. It hasn’t been easy. Several of my friends and family can attest to this. In fact, they may tell you that there have been times they wanted to shake me. (And one person in particular may be upset that I’m even devoting most of a blog post to _______.)

Do I wish I didn’t know this person? Absolutely not. Knowing this person has taught me so much about myself and what I want (and need) from my relationships. My relationship with this person — on both a platonic and romantic level — was rewarding in so many ways. It has been an invaluable part of my personal and emotional growth. I went into it with eyes open, fully knowing I’d probably get my heart broken. And I did. But I needed it. And I’m grateful for it. It’s taken me close to a year of processing to be able to say that.

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